How to remove the turbo? Also is this the 'bastard' nut?

I've searched a few times but cant find any posts describing how to remove the turbo? I'm sure they're there but a search for 'how remove turbo" brings up everything but how to remove turbo.
I tried to do remove it this evening but cannot access the oil & water feed banjos because the alternators in the way.
So i tried to remove the alternator only to find the long hinge bolt wont come out because the turbos in the way!
Is this one those oriental puzzles they put in every now and then just prevent your knuckles getting too soft?

Anyway ive had the exhaust manifold nuts marinating in wd40 for the last 2 days so i was feeling confident they would come out ok. 2 did, 3 came out with their studs, 1 was missing! 1 snapped the stud, but theres one thats impossible to access! Its the lower nut from cyl no.3 . Is this the 'bastard' nut ive heard mentioned before?
Do i need a magic 14mm wobble socket for this one?
Any help or links to previous posts would be greatly appreciated?
Cheers

Bollocks, just found a post.
http://www.gtir-motorsport-club.com/t1319-turbo-replacement#15677

Search on this site is cr@p unfortunately.
with alternator you best loosening bracket at bottom then alternator moves to left, helping a lot.

Bastard bolt - Get a small spanner on it or a moon shaped one and got it undone many times.

I haven't had any issues accessing the banjo bolts with the alternator in place, I always take the radiator out and it gives me a lot of room to access it from the front.

Yep banjo bolts are fairly easy to get with alternator in situ.
If you ever need to remove alternator then do not remove the long pivot bolt as like you say it will hit on the manifold so you need to remove it with the cast iron bracket (2 bolts & 1 nut) then just drop the lot through the bottom then remove the bracket when it's off via the pivot bolt.

To get turbo off you need to remove ex manifold and like you say 1 nut is a right fooker but you can do it by getting a spanner on it (securely) then using some sort of lever such as a screwdriver through the web on the manifold to lever the spanner down. When you re-fit the manifold you can leave that nut off if you like as the one next to it is enough to draw the manifold in tight and will make it much easier for removal next time round.

Top tips! Thanks
I'll have a look tonight and let you know how it went.

GTI-R US wrote:.... then just drop the lot through the bottom then remove the bracket when it's off via the pivot bolt.

But not if you've still got the aircon attached.

During ancient times the test of manhoood of Mandan Warriors involved a variety of torturous ordeals through which they proved their physical courage to gain the approval of the spirits. It began with the young man not eating, drinking, or sleeping for four days. They are then led to a hut, where the skin of their chest and shoulders was slit, and wooden skewers were thrust behind the muscles. Using the skewers to support the weight of their bodies, the warriors would be suspended from the roof of the lodge, and would hang there until they fainted. To add agony, heavy weights were added to their legs. After fainting, the warrior would be pulled down and the elders would watch the warrior until he awoke, proving the spirits’ approval. After awakening, the warrior would sacrifice the little finger on both hands, each finger being severed with a hatchet. Finally, the warrior would be taken outside where he would command the respect of the elders.

The Mandan indians queitly dropped this right of passage once they found out that undoing 'the bastard one' was a far more toturous and satanic test of manhood.

Tonight, i too become a GTIR warrior by undoing 'the bastard one'

" />

I'm sure I watched a video on that in a history lesson at secondary school, was the single thing I remember from history and wondering what the fuck was going on.

Glad you have earned the right to call yourself a GTiR warrior, now just complete changing the clutch with engine insitue and the rear water hoses and you will be a eldar LOL

Did it have Richard Harris on it? If so it wouldve been 'a man called horse'
Tell you what, after tonight, getting strung by my bollocks would a be walk in the park.

Haha you are not yet a fully fledged warrior until blood has been spilt from the back of your hands and they have become raw with the scraping of skin & flesh from the metal clits that asphixiate rubber tubes 
Then you must venture forth to deal with the bastad of all bastad bolts being the demon that lies buried neath the sensor of the tranny box only when you have extracted this demon and sethered its metallic head can you call yourself a true warrior of the gtir 



Yes John you are correct in saying it's not possible if the ac pump is still fitted just makes the job that bit more interesting lol

Haha yeah thats the one! Sure he had his nipples done over or something lol it was a long time ago when I watched it.

Just wait until you are changing it in the snow in January or something like that, I have done it plenty of times been unable to feel my figers and loosing the copper washer on the banjo about 20 times before throwing it across the drive. Just wait until you try getting them back in. One tip i have found useful is to put a flat headed screwdriver in the oil/water pipe with the circular end and level it about so you can get it nice and straight on so the banjo thread goes in. Otherwise you can be fucking about with it for hours

I cant believe the bastard bolt is just the son of an even bigger bastard bolt hidden in the tranny box.

I still have much to learn in the dark ways of the GTIR

I leaked blood removing the gearbox while the engine was in situe and even got the bastard bolt out that is restricted by the speed sensor in the transferbox

Here is the picture of my bloodied hand.
NOT FOR THE FAINT HEARTED

I don't know why people complain lol, buy some french shit & work on that then the jap stuff appears the ingenious engineering it truly is . Jap engineers make most stuff doable even when space super tight, the french just don't bother full stop & even simple stuff become awkward due to piss poor bolt quality & how they place things.
Nice write up mr cosmic, made me smile that ...

That's a fair point. i recently tried to change the turbo cartridge in a Peugeot 1.6hdi and I swear it must have been assembled by the Borrowers. I could even get a little finger onto it. At one point i launched a 19mm spanner at it, sat in a corner and had a blubber.


Manned up as soon as the wife came back of course.

Dont insult the frenchies there is a growing breed on here. I heard they just like the hairy armpits its a turn on for them...